Saturday, May 31, 2008

CONFUSING NEWS ON AIR… TV3



Here what happened…

At about 8.20pm on the 30.05.08, RTM1 was reporting on Ezam to relinquish his position as GERAK’s chairman to his Deputy, Mohd Nazree Mohd Yunus soon after 6 more PKR young leaders made their statements. The latter then in his press conference was elaborating and emphasizing on GERAK’s main objectives, “ to abolish corporate, government and political bribery – No. 1 National Crime..” so he said. It was clearly on screen stated his name and his position as the new GERAK’s chairman.

As I switching through channels, tunning to TV3, later, at about 8.30pm, TV3 reported, Najib’s respond to the 6 PKR reapplication to UMNO to be tabled and decided by UMNO Supreme Councils soon. Next second, TV3 aired the same exact press statement reciting the exact phrase that is to abolish corporate, government and political bribery….by the new GERAK’s chairman delivering his notes without any sub-line who this guy is.

I was stunned and start feeling confused by the twisted news what TV3 is trying to convey as though Mohd Nazree Mohd Yunus is representing the 6 new re-applicants. I was even more confounded for a moment when TV3 cut short off the air immediately left the news without a full stop.

Is TV3 trying to play smart gimmick here? Fortunately, I was alert but its too ironic for other viewers to innocently absorb such twisted news. How can we ever trust or rely further to TV3’s news?

… behold the truth and integrity, for god sake!!!!

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot

Thursday, May 29, 2008

EZAM - ahli 'EKSKLUSIF' seumur hidup UMNO


My instant reaction was...WOW!!!! Eksklusifnye!!! Perdana Menteri secara peribadi menerima keahlian Ezam. Tidak cukup dengan itu, liputan seluas-luasnye di prime news TV3 serta temuramah secara langsung...

Setelah penat berlari ke dewan parlimen pada pukul 11.35 pagi, Perdana Menteri terus menyiapkan diri ke Putrajaya untuk membuang masanye bagi meraikan kemasukan Ezam untuk kali kedua di dalam UMNO...

Di dalam fikiran ini, mula tertanya-tanya?
  • Di antara pejuang2 UMNO dulu, kini dan selamanye, siapa yang pernah diberi liputan sebegitu?
  • Apa hebatnye Ezam dan apa jasa Ezam kepada UMNO?
  • Rakyat bayar 'air-time' interview Ezam untuk apa?
  • Kenapa Pak Lah dan MT UMNO terima Ezam semula?
  • Berita Ezam lebih penting dari berita ekonomi, rakyat dan politik?
Kalau nak disenaraikan.. kenapa dan untuk apa, UMNO pasti ada jawapan tersendiri walaupun ada antara ahli MT yang tidak puas hati.

Persoalaannya sekarang :
Kemasukan Ezam memang dialu2kan tetapi kenapa mesti mendapat liputan yang terlalu 'EKSKLUSIF'???

PAK LAH AND THE RAT RACE...


The minute Zuraida and Tian Chua, PKR noted the lack of quorum in the House.. Azmin then suggested that a vote be made.. the Deputy Speaker freaked, had to acceed to the Opposition's call for block voting... THERE GOES THE DRAMA IN THE HOUSE OF PARLIAMENT YESTERDAY AT ABOUT 11.45am...

For the first time, the MPs were alerted for the rat race and that include the Prime Minister followed by his deputy just to make sure the supplementary supply bill of RM9 million to be passed...

"This is the first I have seen the prime minister running into the House," said Azmin. (Isn't that amusing????!!!!)

"They are suppose to be there. They are answerable to the Parliament but they have no respect for the proceedings so they just left right after they finished voting," he added.

Yes, the Prime Minister and all the BN MPs have to keep fit and alert at anytime for more dramas.. Therefore, dont play play anymore this time around...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

A THUMBS UP FOR NAJIB?

During a question-and-answer session at the Asia Media Summit 2008 in Kuala Lumpur recently, an American participant remarked on freedom of speech and human rights in Malaysia, Najib said the United States should look at itself first before criticising others.

He said the US, which has been projecting an image of a democratic country, was guilty of abuses especially in Guantanamo Bay, a US detention centre in Cuba.

"In the name of national security, there have been violations of human rights and even abuse. So please, critisise the US government and ask them to close Guantanamo Bay," he said.

Well done Dato Seri.. my hats off for you this time which i couldnt deny. But doesn't that sound similar? As far as I can remember only Dr M would abrubtly put his statement as such. Is Najib getting somewhere since all along he has been playing safe and a 'YES' man to his boss? I wonder...



Tuesday, May 27, 2008

GOTCHA!!! ... THE PARLIMENT CAFE DRAMA

Tok Yem and Tok Shahrir in the mood for a friendly chat i guess! They need a break too. This is what we call a true "Malaysian" MPs spirit. We can capture these spirit during their break either at the Parliment lobby or cafe. Despite from different political camps either they are in the opposition or the ruling parties, they still have not lost their sense of 'gurau senda'.

Look at the brighter side.. the least our MPs could save the taxpayers money from visiting the aestheticians for a rejuvenate consultation unlike some who did.. ALL SCREAMS AND NO LAUGHS CAN MAKE THE DOCTORS A MILLIONAIRE!!!


Now, who can you capture at this one table? Dr Hatta (PAS), Khalid Samad (PKR), Shabery (BN), Saifudin (PKR) to name a few. Again, our MPs will not tolerate our Malaysian 'pantang' (prohibition; abstinence; to abstain) when it comes to 'nasi bungkus'. Its either they 'pantang jumpa' or they do honour the table manners. Yes, our parents taught us the table manners and i thank also to the spirit of 'nasi bungkus'.

The morale of the story here is, our MPs are always Malaysians. Despite colours, ideologies and religions.. home is where the heart is, we stand by our culture and spirit. So can the rakyat uphold the same thoughts?





Monday, May 26, 2008

Dear Boss... Yours Sincerely


If you wish to ask for salary raise, here is how you should write a letter to your boss.

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould under$tand, the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including our $weat and $ervice to the company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what i mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely
Norman $oh


**********************************************************


The next day, your boss replied;

Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After NOvember, the president election things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what i mean.

Yours truly
The Boss

PULAU BATU PUTEH... AN ANALYSIS FOR THE RAKYAT

Not many has been elaborated or analysed by the government to our lost for Batu Puteh. The CJ left silent, our Prime Minister with his usual sympathatic drama and the main media stream lullaby their folk songs ..."KITA HARUS REDHA".

Singapore Got the Mansion, Malaysia Got Some Rocks Which Cannot Be Used To Put Up Even A Kampong Hut, and yet Rais Yatim says, "We won half and Singapore won half. So I say its a Win Win situation".

Obviously, its not the government's interest. Yes, the rakyat redha but we need explanations and analysis to this lost. And here we go for you rakyat... dont bother to ask them, they are never vigilant to rakyat's concern. Look no further.. an analysis for us to ponder...

WHO IS IN CHARGE?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who the one in charge was.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum , "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

The a$$hole is usually in charge... doesn't that sounds familiar?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

12 TO 4 VERDICT - WHAT DOES IT SAYS?

Can anyone not understand the letter clearly?
The biggest question here is, doesnt anyone knows anything about it?
The scary part is it is in the possesion of Singapore Memorial..

“I wonder whether the Malaysian government took the proper legal advice before subjecting itself to a possible decision of momentous proportions for the country, both politically and psychologically,” he said in a statement today - Karpal Singh, MalaysiaKini




A lost is a lost.. 12 to 4 clearly says that its just not a lost but in actual we failed and why we failed? Are our intelligence are not intelligent enough or are they not prepared? We have won our case before to gain sovereignity over Sipadan and Ligitan.. Didnt they make reference to similar cases?

In deep tots, i will have to agree to Mr Karpal Singh that Malaysia should accept that it has lost out to Singapore both in “dignity and kind”. In the first place, why should we forward this case to ICJ without any other options? Dont ask the rakyat to think.. we pay you to think, remember!!!

Next, Singapore is eyeing on our Pulau Pisang , simply for the same reason, they built, operate and monitor their lighthouse there. Why shouldnt they claim based on same grounds? As it is, our Navy are not allowed to enter the vicinity of the light house nor the jetty leading to it, let alone enter the lighthouse itself. Their duty was merely to observe from a distance the movement of Singaporeans entering and leaving – nothing more than that. And the next next will be.. ????




Thursday, May 22, 2008

TUN M DAH BUKA BALIK BUKU 'TIGA LIMA'

Isu terhangat terkini di pasaran tentang Tun M keluar parti.. ramai yang nak bercakap dan ramai jugak yang tiba-tiba rajin membaca. Surat khabar laris dan lebih laris dari goreng pisang panas. Dari Menteri hinggalah drebar teksi, hari-hari tunggu sape menteri seterusnye nak buat cerita.Rasa-rasanya, pak menteri kita dah tak berani nak bercakap banyak-banyak pasal Tun. Memang mereka tak berani, salah satu sebabnya, Tun dah pandai berpantun;

Tepuk dulang paku serpih.
Katakan orang awak yang lebih.
- (Blog Che Det)

Antara ramai tokoh-tokoh UMNO yang suke bercakap untuk menunjukkan betapa hebatnye dia bercakap, para wartawan terlupa hendak minta yang seorang ini suruh bercakap. Tiba-tiba, dia tidak bercakap dan bila jengok blog dia pun.. tidak ada apa pun yang dia cakap.

Memang dia tidak bercakap fasal isu Tun M keluar parti, tapi seperti biasa, dia dah hantar peluru minta wartawan jangan bercakap. Why is Chun Wai getting calls on stories about Tun Dr. Mahathir? Lagi banyak wartawan bercakap, Tun M akan lebih popular di kalangan rakyat dan paling digeruni bila Tun M mula membelek-belek buku '555' nya.

Go ahead Tun, we the rakyat always welcome your 'Hard Talk' and i quote your saying,
"You can try to shut me out but I have got a big mouth. I am going to use this big mouth. They will try to stay in power but one day truth will prevail. They will pay a price for converting the Malaysian government into a family government of ... Abdullah Ahmad Badawi" - Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.
Oleh yang demikian, peringatan untuk semua yang suke bercakap,
jawapan untuk pantun Tun M -
Sepuluh budak hitam makan buah delima.
Jaga-jaga pak menteri semua...

Tun dah buka balik 'BUKU TIGA LIMA'...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

IM A YEAR YOUNGER...



When anyone ask me when is my birtday?
Hey.. its today

And when anyone ask what year?
Oooh.. its every year!!!

Exactly how old are you?
I forgotten.. its seems every year, im a year younger..

What are my wishes?
Well, too many i guess..

If god only grant me with one wish..
Make me 'WISER' everyday

Monday, May 19, 2008

CHE DET.. THE RAKYAT CAN READ BETWEEN THE LINES CLEARLY


Hari ini, Mei 19, 2008 saya mengumumkan keputusan saya untuk keluar
daripada UMNO. Isteri saya turut bersama.


“Because Datuk Seri Abdullah is blind and deaf and does not understand the message by Barisan members, because some Umno members have joined in, because the democratic process is not moving, because Umno now is no longer the Umno established 62 years ago, I find my participation as a member meaningless and no longer useful,” he said in his blog.


What your friends have to say for now (at least within a week) :

The Semangat 46 clans:

Pak Lah – "Beliau tidak akan tunduk kepada desakan Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad supaya beliau meletak jawatan sebagai Perdana Menteri dan Presiden Umno serta yakin majoriti anggota Umno akan terus setia kepada kepimpinan parti sekarang." - Bernama

Abdullah also said he did not see why he should quit as Umno president and prime minister, as he “still had work to do”. – TheStar

Ahmad Zahid Hamidi - "I welcome his decision. It is high time for him" to leave” - Malaysian Insider

Shahrir Abdul Samad said Dr Mahathir’s hatred for Abdullah was stronger than his love for Umno, otherwise he would not make a decision to quit and call Umno ministers and deputy ministers to follow in his footsteps. Shahrir also suggested that Jerlun MP Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir should follow in his father’s footsteps.

Rais Yatim said the party leadership must begin efforts to rehabilitate the party. He said Dr Mahathir’s resignation might divide the party and the Malays even further but the next few weeks would be crucial to see how many members would follow suit.

Ahmad Shabery Cheek said it seemed like history was repeating itself. “The three of them died without being Umno members and Tun (Dr Mahathir) must not do this too,” he said, adding that the former premier might regret his move later.

Tun Musa Hitam.- “…to quit Umno is upsetting but it may actually be a blessing in disguise because a "thorn in the flesh" has been removed from the party” TheStar

KuLI, “I have my own party. Why must I quit the party? I will remain in the party to challenge the president (Abdullah) and will fight to clean up the party,”

The ex-Apple Polishers

SHARM EL-SHEIKH (Egypt): Najib Tun Razak is willing to talk to Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad over his sudden resignation from the party.

Mohamed Khaled Nordin, "Tindakan Dr. Mahathir keluar UMNO merupakan satu kehilangan besar kepada parti kerana sumbangan beliau kepada UMNO sangat besar" - Utusan

Syed Hamid Albar said: "He is doing more damage than good…”

Mohd Ali Rustam said he was “shocked” and said,“I hope Tun will retract his statement and return to the party. We need him to strengthen Umno.”

Muhammad Muhammad Taib said he was surprised by the news, but added that every member had the right to leave the party.

Hishamuddin Hussein Onn, “At a time when Umno is making efforts to renew the spirit of members to gain support, this incident does not help,” he said.

Rahim Tamby Chik, “It's shocking news to me. If true, then I would say that it is an interesting yet tragic development for the party,” he said yesterday. TheStar

MCA vice-president Ong Tee Keat described Dr Mahathir's announcement as a “shocking surprise”.“This is going to make the prevailing political scenario more perplexing.“I am hopeful that Umno has sufficient experience and maturity to address such problems,” he said.

MCA secretary-general, Ong Ka Chuan has called on former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad to reconsider his decision to quit Umno. Ong said he was saddened by Dr Mahathir’s sudden announcement.

Gerakan vice-president Chang Ko Youn said he felt that Dr Mahathir's decision was “a bit too hasty”.

MIC president Samy Vellu did not want to comment on Dr Mahathir's decision because it was Umno's internal problem.

The Veterans

Tan Sri Mohamed Rahmat, Umno stalwart and former Information Minister: "I told myself, he (Mahathir) is going to quit the party. And then this afternoon, he quit. But to me, it's not unusual." - Malaysian Insider

The Oppositions :

Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat was the “happiest politician alive” after he was told that former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad had decided to leave Umno.

"Apa sebab Dr. Mahathir mahu keluar dari UMNO. Apakah kerana masalah kepimpinan atau sebagainya. Kita pun tidak faham." Timbalan Pengerusi DAP, Dr. Tan Seng Giaw - Utusan

MY FOCUS :

Just view at the S46 clans, they are in the cabinets or at least the Prime Minister's personal advisor. Obviously, they sang a common rhytm. These group used to be thrown out by Che Det.. therefore, their remarks are based on mere vengeance and invasively zipping Che Det.

Thank you Che Det, you unveiled the conspiracy. These are the people who are mainly responsible to the downfall of Barisan Nasional and in particular UMNO. We, the rakyat could read your lines clearly.. now that the culprit surfaced and an easy target for us.. thanks once again.

What has Anwar got to say about this? Che Det, you dah kacau his plan A B C D E until Z. Only a wise person would consider to hold an A1 and A2 or probably A# plans.

Its ok to loose the war.. but you will win the battle!!!!

JAGA--JAGA NAMA KITA...

Pagi-pagi dah dapat pesanan dari kawan-kawan yang suke menulis. Penulis ni memang prihatin. Setiap yang berlaku.. ada je yang jadi bahan tulisan. So, ini salah satu pesanannye and to me its inspirational..

Kena update hari-hari kak... Kalau kadang-kadang, dia akan jadi blog atau website kerajaan.

Ingat! orang kerajaan kalau yang jaga website jabatannya kita cabut 'jaan'nya. Tinggalkan 'kera' aje. Dia orang tak boleh marah kerana ini kenyataan kecuali kerajaan tukar nama jadi gamen balik macam dulu-dulu.

Polis pun kalau tak buat kerja betul, kena tukar mata-mata. Zaman tu dia orang tak makan rasuah, cuma makan suap aje. Bila tukar jadi polis baru dia orang makan rasuah. Itulah kebesaran pada nama...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

PAK ALI ... AKAN MENYALAK LAGI!!!

MOHD ALI PERTAHAN JAWATAN NAIB PRESIDEN?
(Perwakilan jangan terbeli dengan manis di bibir)

oleh Acan Lok


Sesungguhnya saya gelihati dengar Ketua Menteri Melaka, Datuk Seri Mohd. Ali Rustam berkata dia akan mempertahankan jawatan Naib Presiden UMNO pada pemilihan parti akan datang.

Sebagai Naib Presiden parti, apa yang beliau sudah buat untuk UMNO? Kalau setakat hantar barang makanan dan beri duit pada negeri-negeri terlibat banjir, orang lain pun buat.

Semasa negara kehilangan banyak kerusi dalam pilihan raya lalu, Ali tidak pun menyerlah memberikan pendapat bernas. Malah khabarnya sibuk meraikan ‘kemenangan’ yang kalah di sana sini.

Seperkara lagi, berapa banyak jawatan yang dia mahu pegang dalam kerajaan, parti dan NGO? Dia sibuk dengan Dunia Melayu Dunia Islam (DMDI) berseminar sana, berseminar sini, habuk pun takde.

Bila perdana menteri sibuk dengan Islam Hadhari, dia pun sibuk dengan Islam Hadhari, tapi sepatah apa pun dia tak faham dengan konsep Islam Hadhari sebenarnya. Beliau lebih syok dengan event besar-besar dan berucap di sana sini. Tapi bila berucap dalam Perhimpunan Agung UMNO, hancus!

Datuk Seri Adnan Yaakub bagus. Siang-siang sudah umumkan tidak pertahankan jawatan ahli Majlis Tertinggi (MT) UMNO. Sebab dia tidak bertanding pun bagus kerana mahu memberi perhatian sepenuhnya kepada pengukuhan parti dan kerajaan Negeri Pahang.

Mohd. Ali sudah dilihat sedikit rakus tentang jawatan. Macam-macam jawatan dia nak pegang. Kalau boleh Belia 4B pun dia nak pegang sampai akhir hayat. Begitu juga dengan menerajui Negeri Melaka kalau boleh dia nak pegang sampai bila-bila.

Untuk mengekalkan jawatan Naib Presiden UMNO, Ali terpaksa berdepan dengan ramai perwakilan akan menutup hidung dan mulut ketika Ali berucap nanti sebagai tanda ‘menutup bau hindzir’.

Ketua Menteri itu mendakwa ternakan babi di Paya Mengkuang sekarang dikurangkan kepada 44,000 ekor sahaja. Siapa yang pergi bilang babi yang begitu banyak setiap hari sedangkan seekor babi boleh beranak sehingga 10 – 13 ekor dalam satu masa.

Bayangkanlah dari 44,000 ekor itu ada 5,000 ekor babi betina yang beranak setiap hari sudah cukup boleh meningkatkan berapa puluh ribu ekor dalam masa sekelip mata. Banyak betul!

Setiap kali isu babi dibangkitkan dalam media, setiap kali itulah rakyat Melayu Melaka mengeluh dan lemas menanggung malunya seolah-olah Kerajaan Negeri Melaka memberi galakan kepada penternak babi menguasai sebahagian besar dari kawasan Negeri Melaka.

Penyiksaan kepada penduduk Melayu di sekitar Paya Mengkuang, hanya tuhan yang tahu. Tapi Mohd Ali tak tahu. Atau buat-buat tak tahu.

Dulu Mohd Ali setuju dengan Datuk Zainuddin Maidin kata bloggers itu goblok (bodoh dalam Bahasa Jawa). Sekarang, beliau setuju pula yang bloggers atau goblok sudah berjaya mengubah minda rakyat dan dia pun bukalah blog sendiri.

Oleh kerana blog itu blog Datuk Mohd Ali Rustam, maka orang pun cari peluanglah hentam dia betul-betul. Sebelum ini ada Portal e-aduan kononnya rakyat Melaka boleh buat aduan terus dan disalurkan kepada jabatan-jabatan berkenaan.

Pun tak laku. Aduan tetap tidak diambil tindakan. Jalan berlubang tetap berlubang, papan tanda terlindung di sana sini tetap terlindung, tapak Melayu berniaga pun di pindah ke sana sini dan bertabur tak tentu hala.

Halau Melayu di Padang Nira untuk buat tempat letak kereta dekat gereja untuk memudahkan penganut agama Kristian beramal ibadat. Itulah satu-satunya tapak peniaga Melayu meraih rezeki sekian lama dan begitu konsisten sebelum ini.

Tapak kraf orang Melayu dah jadi Hotel Pah 1. Pengusaha di situ dihambat ke Dataran Pahlawan dengan sewa RM700 sebulan yang dulunya hanya RM200 sahaja. Teruk masyarakat Melayu niaga di Melaka dibuatnya.

Pemimpin Melayu mesti fikirkan Agenda Melayu terlebih dahulu dengan memikirkan selera dan kemudahannya sama. Pemimpin Melayu mesti berjiwa Melayu dan berjiwa Islam yang bukan hanya memikirkan jawatan dalam pertubuhan buat sendiri seperti Dunia Melayu Dunia Islam tetapi bergelumang dengan isu babi dan tidak diberikan keutamaan memikirkan sensitiviti orang Melayu.

Ramai lagi yang layak jadi Naib Presiden. Pertahan boleh pertahan, tetapi kalau kalah nanti jangan tuduh orang UMNO tak sokong pulak, orang Melayu tak kenang budi dan sebagainya.

KABOOMM!!! ...the PRINCE OF DARKNESS


The Prince of Darkness.. the prince? No.. No.. he dont deserved that. The darkness.. oh yes, he could melt the juveniles heart like april snow or if not so.. the makciks2 and 'Wans'2 in Rembau.

Thats not the main issue here.. Khairy Jamaluddin is a blogger too finally...

Out of the cage - thats correct, dare yourself KJ after orchestrating behind the curtains...

I pledge, we the rakyat will not be trumpeting your hullabaloo opera... if you need our standing ovation, do represent us in this Bolehland of ours.

THE FROG PRINCIPLE...

Have you heard of The Frog Principle?

I have just finished reading a book on Follow Your Heart by Andrew Matthews.

There is an often quoted story of a frog and a bucket of water. It illustrates the law of deterioration. If you take an intelligent, happy frog and drop him into a bucket of boiling water, what will the frog do? Jump out! Instantly, the frog decides: "This is no fun - I'm gone".

If you take the same frog, or a relative, and drop him into a bucket of cold water, put the bucket on the stove and gradually heat up the bucket, what then ? The frog's relaxing .... a few minutes later he says to himself: "It seems warm in here." Soon enough you have a cooked frog.

The moral of the story?
Life happens gradually. Like the frog, we can be fooled, and suddenly it's too late.
We need to be aware of what is happening.


Question?
If you woke tomorrow twenty kilos heavier, would you be worried ?
Sure you would! You'd be calling the hospital: "Emergency! I'm fat!" But when things happen gradually, a kilo this month, a kilo next month, we tend to let it go.

When you overspend on your budget by ten dollars in one day, it's no big deal. But if you do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, you end up broke. For people who go broke, put on weight, get divorced, it usually isn't one big disaster - it's a bit today and a bit tomorrow - and then one day "kaboom!" - and they say : "What happened?"

Life is accumulative. One thing ADDS to another - like the drops of water that wear away the rock. The frog principle is telling us to watch the trends. Each day, we ask ourselves: "Where am I heading ? Am I fitter, healthier, happier, more prosperous than I was last year?" If not, we need to change what we're doing.

Here's the scary thing- there's no standing still. You're either gaining or slipping.

I wish you all the best!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Marriage Life : before n after...

  • Before married... Darling here n darling there, After Married... Baling here n baling there
  • Before married... I die for you, After Married... You die, up to you, Lagi lama married... You die I help You!!!
  • Before married... You go anywhere I follow you, After Married.. Up to You
  • Before married... You are my heart n your are my love, After Married... You are up to my nerves!!!
  • Before married... Your are sweet and kind just like Cinderella, After married... You are worse then Godzilla
  • Before married... Roses are red, violets are blue, Like it or not, I'm stuck with your. After married... Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you!!
  • Before married... Every makan he brings you to Shangrila, After married... You want to go, he says you wait-lah!!!
  • Before married... She looks like Anita Sarawak, After married... Don't know whether katak or biawak



























Friday, May 16, 2008

PURE HONESTY


As we grow....

We encounter more parts of ourselves that may be hurtful.

We need to accept those parts too..

Not condemn ourselves for being human

Not hide our destructive impulses from ourselves

Then our honesty with ourselves..

and with others will not be tainted by dishonest motives..

THEREFORE, I PRAY FOR HONESTY WITH MYSELF FIRST...
SO MY HONESTY WITH OTHERS WILL BE PURE...

"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honest, but subtle hostility -- Rose N. Frarnzblau


DO'A DALAM SUJUD


Paling baik untuk diamalkan dan dibaca sewaktu sujud akhir dalam solat:

"Ya Allah.. tambahkanlah bagiku...
Rezeki yang banyak lagi halal,
Iman yang benar,
Ilmu yang bermanfaat,
Kesihatan yang elok,
Kecerdikan yang tinggi,

Hati yang bersih dan

Kejayaan yang besar"


Sewaktu bersujud, kita berada amat hampir dengan Allah. Katakanlah apa sahaja di dalam hati hajat kita sebagaimana yang dilakukan oleh Rasulullah s. a. w. yang biasa memanjangkan sujudnya dengan memperbanyakkan zikir dan doa didalamnya.

Sabda Rasulullah s. a. w :- "Suasana yang paling hampir antara seseorang hamba dengan Tuhannya ialah di kala ia bersujud kerana itu hendaklah kamu memperbanyakkan doa di dalamnya."

Semoga dengan mengamalkan doa itu kita mendapat manfaat atau sekurang-kurangnya menjadi cita-cita kita dalam mencari keredhaan Allah dunia dan akhirat.
Banyak kelebihan memanjangkan sujud dan memperbanyakkan doa di dalamnya.

Rasulullah s. a. w biasa berbuat begitu sehingga pernah para sahabat hairan kerana lamanya baginda bersujud.
Keistimewaan umatnya yang bersujud telah disebut oleh baginda dalam sabdanya yang bermaksud:- "Tiadalah ada seorang umatku melainkan aku yang akan mengenalinya di hari kiamat"

Mendengar itu para sahabat bertanya: "Bagaimanakah engkau dapat mengenali mereka dalam khalayak ramai wahai Rasulullah?"
Jawab baginda: "Tidakkah engkau melihat seandainya sekumpulan unta dimasuki oleh seekor kuda yang amat hitam, sedang di dalamnya pula terdapat sekor kuda putih bersih, maka adakah engkau tidak dapat mengenalinya?"

Sahabat Menjawab: "Bahkan !" Rasulullah menyambung: "Kerana sesungguhnya pada hari itu (kiamat) muka umatku akan putih (berser-seri) disebabkan mereka bersujud (di dunia), segala anggota mereka ( terutama anggota wudu') putih berseri-seri oleh cahaya wudhu' !!!"


KEISTIMEWAANNYA

Ahli neraka juga mendapat keselamatan kerana bekas sujudnya. Rasulullah s.a. w. bersabda yang bermaksud:-
"Apabila Allah hendak melimpahkan Rahmat (kebaikan) kepada ahli-ahli neraka yang Dia kehendaki. Dia pun memerintahkan malaikat supaya mengeluarkan orang-orang yang menyembah Allah, lalu mereka dikeluarkan dan mereka dikenali dengan kesan-kesan sujud (di dahi mereka), di mana Allah menegah neraka memakan (menghapuskan) bekas-bekas sujud itu, lalu mereka pun keluar dari neraka, maka setiap tubuh anak Adam akan dimakan api neraka selain bekas sujud"

Begitulah Allah memuliakan hamba-Nya yang bersujud. Orang yang sujud mendapat keistimewaannya apatah lagi di dalam sujud itu kita berdoa. Sudah tentu mendapat perhatian yang sewajarnya. Semoga kita akan menjadi hamba yang benar-benar mendapat rahmat.


Wassalam.




Thursday, May 15, 2008

ITULAH KETUA MENTERI KU....


Should i be proud of him? Emmm (sigh).. The moment he brags he is also a blogger.. thats the day.. i tot to myself.. he better prepare himself a safety net.. and what he did after those heavy flows of comments was his exit plan..

He could lullaby his excuses WordPress is better then Blog.. Well DSAR, Blog administerd by Google who turned down your offer.. (fakta atau auta?) .. therefore shouldnt this be in your lyrics too?

Finally, wherever you are.. we will be watching u and finally here u are...
the new version Dari Kacamata Mohd Ali Rustam

Apa Silap Hishammuddin Mohon Maaf?

Oleh :Lee Ngah Yem

Isu Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein mohon maaf kerana menghunus dan mencium keris Panca Warisan pada Perhimpunan Agung Umno, nampaknya menjadi bahan cacian sesetengah pihak yang gagal memahami maksud sebenar langkah berani yang diambil Ketua Pergerakan Pemuda Umno itu.


Di laman mymassa (http://mymassa.com) saya terbaca tulisan Wak Semar yang bertajuk Hishammuddin Bacul dan Bodoh Sebenarnya dan satu lagi artikel bertajuk Hishammuddin Patutlah Undur Dari Ketua Pemuda – bolehlah dianggap sebagai satu tulisan yang tidak bernilai selain dari melepas geram, dan tidak ada hala tujuannya.

Jika langkah Hishammuddin dianggap sebagai bacul, langkah penulis itu pula bolehlah dianggap sebagai bodoh sombong atau satu gambaran betapa ceteknya pemikiran dia, sekadar mahu menulis kerana ‘ada ruang’ untuk menyiarkannya.

Kata Hishammuddin; “Memohon maaf jika ia menjadi antara faktor menjejaskan prestasi Barisan Nasional (BN) dalam Pilihan Raya Umum 2008.”

Katanya, kepada bukan Melayu, saya memohon maaf kerana tindakan itu menyebabkan mereka ditakut-takutkan oleh politik persepsi dan gembar-gembur terhadap keris sebagai satu simbol, sedangkan itu bukan niatnya.

Kepada orang Melayu pula, Hishammuddin memohon maaf kerana tidak dapat mempertahankan keris sebagai simbol warisan bangsa.

“Kalau realitinya begitu, saya bukanlah seorang yang angkuh dan bongkak sehingga tidak boleh menerima hakikat.

“Ia satu pengajaran sedih tetapi jika hari ini politik memang sebegitu rupa, kita sebagai pemimpin mesti besar hati dan jiwa untuk sanggup meletakkan kedudukan BN lebih penting daripada segala-galanya.

“Sebagai Ketua Pemuda, saya secara peribadi sanggup memikul tanggungjawab itu. Kalau ia menimbulkan keadaan yang memerlukan saya memilih antara diri dan parti, saya pilih parti kerana ia penting untuk kita wariskan kepada generasi akan datang,” Hishammuddin dipetik sebagai berkata.

Apa yang peliknya, apabila Hishammuddin tidak mampu mempertahankan simbol ini, ia bukan bermakna dia tidak mempunyai kekuatan tetapi dia mempunyai satu jiwa besar, sanggup mengakui, “jika kerana keris menjadi antara faktor menjejaskan prestasi BN dalam Pilihan Raya” beliau memikul tanggungjawab itu, dengan memohon maaf demi BN dan bukan kerana kepentingan politik peribadinya.

Apabila Hishammuddin sanggup melangkah setapak ke belakang, atau mengalah, bukanlah bererti dia berundur atau mengaku kalah. Malanglah nasib rakyat Malaysia jika terdapat penulis-penulis yang hanya boleh membaca dari satu sudut ‘tanpa keris Melayu’ tidak bermaya.

Mana bijak pandai-bijak pandai (yang cukup pandai bercakap) di kalangan tenaga–tenaga di universiti, pertahankanlah ‘keris’ yang sudah gagal dipertahankan oleh Hishammuddin bukan dengan mengkritik Hishammuddin sebaliknya memainkan peranan untuk memberi kefahaman kepada pelajar-pelajar universiti dan di akar umbi (bercakap dan menulis makalah) supaya keris difahami sebagai simbol kepada bangsa Melayu.

Hishammuddin adalah nama yang disebut bakal Perdana Menteri Malaysia suatu ketika nanti. Ini semua orang tahu dan malanglah bagi rakyat Malaysia (terutama yang bukan berbangsa Melayu) jika mereka merasakan Hishammuddin hanyalah Perdana Menteri kepada orang-orang Melayu sahaja dan bukan Perdana Menteri kepada mereka.

Apalah sangat dengan memohon maaf dengan kerja-kerja yang telah dan akan dilakukan Hishammuddin di Kementerian Pelajaran (sebelum ini di Kementerian Belia dan Sukan) di dalam memajukan bangsa Melayu?

Apa yang peliknya, seolah-olah apabila Hishammuddin mengaku silap dan memohon maaf, seolah-olah Hishammuddin bukan lagi seorang pejuang, bukan lagi seorang Ketua Pemuda Umno yang cukup berwibawa dan bukan lagi seorang Menteri yang cukup prihatin terhadap nasib bangsanya.

Hishammuddin bukan menjual dan mengadai bangsanya. Hishammuddin bukan mengamalkan rasuah. Hishammuddin bukan ada skandal atau Hishammuddin telah menjahanamkan bangsanya. Hishammuddin hanya mengaku; “jika kerana keris prestasi BN terjejas” menyebabkan penulis-penulis dan beberapa orang seperti hilang akal dengan memaki hamun Hishammuddin.

Ada yang menulis kononnya Hishammuddin bukan “Melayu’ apabila memohon maaf kepada bangsa Melayu dan kepada bukan Melayu. Pelik sungguh pemikiran orang-orang seperti ini.

Keris terus menjadi simbol Melayu. Malahan, keris juga terus menjadi simbol Umno. Tidak ada kena mengena dengan permohonan maaf Hishammuddin menyebabkan keris sudah tidak lagi menjadi simbol. Yang Hishammuddin lakukan ialah kesilapannya menghunus dan mencium keris menimbulkan persepsi kurang sihat. Itu sahaja.

Akhbar Indonesia Batam Pos turut menyiarkan berita ini dengan tajuk ‘Hunus Pedang Ketika Rapat – Politisi Mohon Maaf’.

Dalam satu siaran radio Bernama, ada seorang tetamu jemputan turut membidas Hishammuddin kononnya tidak bijak kerana memohon maaf. Saya cukup terkilan dengan juruhebah radio tersebut kerana selepas dia menjemput tetamu tersebut, tidak pula dia menjemput salah seorang Exco Pergerakan Pemuda Umno untuk menjawab semula tohmahan tetamu itu terhadap Hishammuddin.

Apakah tetamu itu (orang Universiti) terlalu sayangkan bangsanya dan simbol bangsanya dengan mengherdik Hishammuddin?

Apakah langkah Hishammuddin itu bererti Hishammuddin sudah tidak sayangkan bangsanya? Sudah tidak sayangkan partinya? Sudah tidak sayangkan agamanya? Sudah tidak sayangkan negaranya?

Apakah orang yang mencaci Hishammuddin dalam isu ini lebih sayang kepada bangsanya lebih dari sayangnya Hishammuddin kepada bangsanya?

Apa yang tukang herdik ini sudah lakukan terhadap bangsa Melayu? Lebih baik dari Hishammuddin lakukan?

Pemuda Umno – dan semua orang-orang Umno perlu memberi sokongan tidak berbelah –bahagi kepada Hishammuddin dalam isu ini. Kerana, Hishammuddin seorang pemimpin muda yang berpandangan jauh. Bukan keris yang akan membela nasib Melayu. Nasib Melayu tidak terletak kepada keris yang kita kucup dan kita hunus.

Nasib Melayu akan terbela jika kita mempunyai pemimpin Melayu yang tidak sombong, sanggup mengaku silap apabila ada orang menegur dan merendah diri. Bukan bermakna Hishammuddin merelakan bangsanya dipijak-pijak tetapi kepentingan kumpulan yang lebih besar diutamakan daripada kepentingan kumpulan yang lebih kecil.

Walaupun Hishammuddin memohon maaf bukan bererti Hishammuddin turut mencadangkan supaya orang-orang Melayu semuanya tunduk kepada bangsa lain atau mengaku kalah, sebaliknya dia sedang menyusun langkah untuk pergi lebih jauh ke hadapan demi membela bangsanya yang sedang dipecah-pecahkan oleh anasir yang gilakan kuasa.

Jangan risau dengan kemampuan pemimpin bernama Hishammuddin kerana dalam dirinya ada tekad dan semangat waja, sama kerasnya dengan besi keris Panca Warisan yang dihunus dan diciumnya itu.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

RPK - TRUE TOTS ARE BEHIND BARS NOW


“I am happy. I want to challenge the government. We bloggers have declared war on the government. We are not scared of the government. The government should be scared of us,” he told reporters before going into the court.

“Is it seditious to influence people against corrupt leaders? There is nothing seditious,” he said. “Do you think I do not have evidence?” (Associated Press).

QUESTION NOW...

1. WHERE WILL THIS LEAD?

2. IS THIS HOW OUR LEADERS HANDLE CRISIS?

3. WILL THERE BE TRUE TOTS FOR US?

MY TOTS...

1. MY LEADERS ARE SO SHORT SIGHTED

2. THE GOVERNMENT HAS DECLARED WAR AGAIN... ITS SO UNNECESSARY

3. THE MAN MADE LAW ARE THE PEOPLE IN POWER'S

4. SOMEONE IS SO DESPERATE TO BE THE FIRST LADY...

5. ONE IS BEHIND BARS... MORE WILL BE CREATED AND IM LOOKING AT ME... MY CRITICAL TOTS SURFACED

6. WE ARE IN CRUCIAL FOOD CRISIS NOW ... LET ALTANTUYA 'RIP'

7. THE GUILT ... CAN THEY ENJOY THEIR BEAUTY SLEEP ANYMORE?

8. I GUESS.. PAK LAH STARTS TO FIND A NEW PILLOW NOW WHILE NAJIB NEEDS HIS ENERGY BOOSTER MORE


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

A BUSY DOG.....

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

... Now read without the word dog.

3 MINUTES MANAGEMENT LESSON


Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson One:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Two:


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson Two:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Three:


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung. He promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson Three:

(a) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(b) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(c) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends the Three Minute Management Course.

SMART CEO..


Seorang CEO ingin mencari eksekutif baru dalam syarikatnya. Dari beribu permohonan, hanya empat yang betul-betul menarik perhatiannya. Bagaimanapun beliau tidak dapat memilih antara keempat-empat orang calon tersebut, lantas memanggil kesemuanya untuk ditemuduga (beliau tidak sekaya Donald Trump untuk menganjurkan temuduga seperti The Apprentice).

Setelah keempat-empat calon berada di hadapan beliau, CEO tadi pun mula berkata, "Saya ada satu soalan yang mungkin memberi jawapan berbeza, calon yang memberikan jawapan terbaik akan diterima untuk bekerja di sini"

Soalannya adalah: "Apakah perkara atau benda yang paling pantas sekali?", tanya CEO tersebut.

Calon pertama berkata, "FIKIRAN, kerana kadang ianya datang sendiri tanpa kita sedari"

"Bagus, satu jawapan yang baik", kata CEO tadi.

"Kamu pula?", tanya nya kepada calon kedua.

"KELIP MATA, kerana tanpa kita sedari, sebelum sempat kita buat apa pun, mata kita dah berkelip", jawab calon kedua.

"Satu jawapan yang sangat baik, lagipun perumpamaan melayu pun ada sebut SEKELIP MATA melambangkan kepantasan", kata CEO itu.

"Bagaimana kamu pula?", tanya CEO kepada calon ketiga.

"Kalau kita tengok, lampu KLCC dihidupkan dengan pantas walaupun bangunan tu tinggi. Jadi saya rasa MENGHIDUPKAN LAMPU adalah paling pantas,jawab calon ketiga.

"Jawapan yang terhebat setakat ni. Bagaimana pula dengan kamu?"

CEO terus mengusulkan soalan kepada calon keempat dengan merasakan calon ketiga hampir pasti menjadi eksekutif baru di syarikatnya dengan jawapan yang sangat bagus sebentar tadi.

"Setelah diteliti jawapan calon-calon sebelum saya ni tadi, saya rasa perkara yang paling pantas sekali adalah CIRIT-BIRIT", jawab calon keempat dengan yakin sekali.

"Haaa...???? CIRIT-BIRIT???? Kamu ni tak serius langsung, macamana kamu boleh mintak kerja dengan syarikat saya ni?", CEO terkejut dengan jawapan calon keempat tadi.

"Begini tuan, malam kelmarin saya terjaga di tengah malam dengan rasa sakit perut yang amat sangat. Belum sempat saya FIKIR, KELIP MATA atau MENGHIDUPKAN LAMPU, benda tu dah terkeluar dah..."

Calon keempat diterima menjadi eksekutif baru syarikat berkenaan..............

hehehehehhe...........

HOW THEY DID IT...


ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.

BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.

BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.

BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.

BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.

BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.

BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.

BEER DRINKERS get more head.

BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.

BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.

BOSSES delegate the task to others.

BOWLERS have bigger balls.

BRICKLAYERS lay all day.

BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.

BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.

BUTCHERS have better meat.

C'Bers do it on the air.

CAMPERS do it in a tent.

CARPENTERS hammer it harder.

CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.

CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.

CHEMISTS like to experiment.

CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.

CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.

CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.

CLOWNS do it for laughs.

COACHES whistle while they work.

COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.

COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.

COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.

COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.

CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.

COPS have bigger guns.

COWBOYS handle anything horny.

COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.

CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.

CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.

DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.

DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.

DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.

DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.

DENTISTS do it in your mouth.

DETECTIVES do it under cover.

DIETICIANS eat better.

DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.

DIVERS do it deeper.

DOCTORS do it with patience.

DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.

DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.

DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.

ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.

ENGINEERS charge by the hour.

EXECUTIVES have large staffs.

FARMERS spread it around.

FIREMEN are always in heat.

FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.

FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.

FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.

FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.

GARBAGE MEN come once a week.

GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.

GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.

GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.

GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.

GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.

HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.

HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.

HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.

HANDYMEN like good screws.

HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.

HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.

HUNTERS do it with a bang.

INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.

INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.

INVENTORS find a way.

JANITORS clean up afterwards.

JEWELERS mount real gems.

JOGGERS do it on the run.

LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.

LAWYERS do it in their briefs.

LIBRARIANS do it quietly.

LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.

LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.

MACHINISTS make the best screws.

MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.

MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.

MANAGERS supervise others.

MARKETING REPs do it on commission.

MILKMEN deliver twice a week.

MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.

MINERS sink deeper shafts.

MINISTERS do it on Sundays.

MISSILE MEN have better thrust.

MODELS do it in any position.

MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.

MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.

MOVIE STARS do it on film.

MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.

NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.

NURSES call the shots.

OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.

OPERATORS do it person-to-person.

OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.

PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.

PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.

PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.

PILOTS keep it up longer.

PLUMBERS do it under the sink.

POLICEMEN like big busts.

POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.

POSTMEN come slower.

PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.

PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.

PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.

PROFESSORS do it by the book.

RACERS like to come in first.

RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..

RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.

REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.

RECYCLERS use it again.

REPAIRMEN can fix anything.

REPORTERS do it daily.

RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.

RETAILERS move their merchandise.

ROOFERS do it on top.

RUNNERS get into more pants.

SAILORS like to be blown.

SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.

SCIENTISTS discovered it.

SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.

SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.

SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.

SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.

SPELUNKERS do it underground.

SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.

STEWARDESSES do it in the air.

STUDENTS use their heads.

SURGEONS are smooth operators.

TAILORS make it fit.

TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.

TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.

TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.

TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.

TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.

TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.

TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.

TYPISTS do it in triplicate.

VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.

WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.

WATER SKIERS come down harder.

WELDERS have hotter rods.

WRESTLERS know the best holds.

WRITERS have novel ways.

ZOOLOGISTS do it with animal instinct.

JUST DO IT


People are unreasonable, illogical and self centered.
LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives.
DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are successful, you will win false friend
and true enemies.
SUCCEED ANYWAY

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

The biggest person with the biggest ideas
can be shot down by the smallest person
with the smallest mind.
THINK BIG ANYWAY

What you spend years building may be
destroyed overnight.
BUILD ANYWAY

People really need help but may
attack if you help them.
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have and
you might get kicked in the teeth.
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST
YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY

WHY ITS BETTER TO BE FEMALE...

WE,

......got off the Titanic first.

.....never ejaculate prematurely.

.....buy a vibrator it is glamorous,
men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.

..... can cry and get off speeding fines.

..... can scare male bosses with mysterious
gynecological disorder excuses.

..... get to flirt with systems support men
who always return our calls, and are
nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin
and gorgeous - guys look like complete
idiots in ours.

Taxis stop for us.

..... never fancied a cartoon character
or the central figure in a computer game.

..... don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

FINALLY,
when men die earlier,
......get to cash in on the life insurance.